After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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