strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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