Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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