we're chasing vodka with high fives
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I love having hate sex.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
