she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
