so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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