Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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