whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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