During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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