did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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