dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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