What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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