So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
