u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize