You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
