What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
