she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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