I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
