I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
