I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
