I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Panties = found
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
