i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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