i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
