Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
