apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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