that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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