Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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