dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
