you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
