when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
