She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
