who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
