Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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