Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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