hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
