Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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