He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
