I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
