I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
