Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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