There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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