I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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