when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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