bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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