She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Did you just see the Batmobile???
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
