Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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