I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
