You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
