he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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