she was so not down for the gang bang
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
