im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
well you can't waste a boner
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
