Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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