I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize