i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize