I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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