Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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