Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
