just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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