Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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