it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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