Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
