just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
