either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
