there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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