You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
